Claremore Daily Progress

Community News Network

January 14, 2014

Clark the Cub takes his place among pro sports' worst mascots

The Chicago Cubs have broken 138 years of mascot-free tradition by introducing Clark the Cub, who will entertain young fans at Wrigley Field beginning this season. Judging from reaction on the Internet, Clark instantly deserves a place on the list of pro sports' worst mascots. Here are our ideas for some other entries.

Clark the Cub (Chicago Cubs)

After 138 years of near-constant futility, the Cubs, in an apparent effort to divert fan attention from the inept product on the field, have unveiled their first mascot. Clark, named for one of the streets bordering Wrigley Field, will have his own clubhouse at the ballpark, and he won’t do typical mascot things like dance on the roof of the dugouts or throw T-shirts or hot dogs into the stands. That still doesn’t make the idea good.

Boltman (San Diego Chargers)

Perhaps this guy and Max Headroom were separated at birth. Sure, the idea of a muscular, ripped bolt of electricity might sound intimidating, but the effect of this costume is just bewildering from top to bottom.

Raymond (Tampa Bay Rays)

Supposedly discovered by Rays scouts on a fishing trip in the Gulf of Mexico (according to the team’s website), Raymond has been described as a “sea dog,” but with an inordinate amount of light blue fur covering his face, he looks more like a cross between a bloated walrus and a frozen manatee.

Finn the Whale (Vancouver Canucks)

Usually seen skating around the ice during intermissions at Canucks home games blowing smoke (literally) out of the blowhole in his back, Finn looks less like a whale than a deformed penguin. Oh, and he has a disturbing habit of chomping down on the heads of children.

Screech (Washington Nationals)

Screech is bald eagle in a similar way that Washington is a city full of politicians who all get along. “Hatched” to coincide with baseball’s return to the nation’s capital in 2005, Screech has undergone a makeover recently, but he still resembles some sort of elderly, oversized pigeon.

Pierre the Pelican (New Orleans Pelicans)

Once the NBA team in the Big Easy announced it would be surrendering its “Hornets” nickname in favor of the Pelicans, it was probably inevitable that a goofy mascot would appear at New Orleans Arena. But who could have foreseen a murderous-looking clown face perched atop a body with wings that look like they came out of an old mop closet?

Wild Wing (Anaheim Ducks)

If Daffy Duck and Jason from the Friday the 13th movies ever got together, their offspring might look like this attempt at a menacing mascot.

Spartacat (Ottawa Senators)

Supposedly this is a lion meant to strike fear in the hearts of Senators opponents, but with his spaghetti-like hair and hilariously gnarled teeth, this guy succeeds only in looking pitifully strange.

Dinger (Colorado Rockies)

Pretty much anything that looks like — or was supposedly inspired by — Barney, gains automatic entry onto this list. The brightly colored spots only make things worse.

Rumble the Bison (Oklahoma City Thunder)

According to the Thunder’s website, this long-haired beast joined the team after being struck by lightning and acquiring superior basketball abilities. But the stumpy horns and empty brown eyes kind of ruin what we assume should be a look of intimidation, leaving Oklahoma City hoops fans with an abject, bizarre-looking creature as their team’s mascot.

Text Only
Community News Network
  • 20140729-AMX-GIVHAN292.jpg Spanx stretches into new territory with jeans, but promised magic is elusive

    The Spanx empire of stomach-flattening, thigh-slimming, jiggle-reducing foundation garments has expanded to include what the brand promises is the mother of all body-shaping miracles: Spanx jeans.

    July 29, 2014 1 Photo

  • Medical marijuana opponents' most powerful argument is at odds with a mountain of research

    Opponents of marijuana legalization are rapidly losing the battle for hearts and minds. Simply put, the public understands that however you measure the consequences of marijuana use, the drug is significantly less harmful to users and society than tobacco or alcohol.

    July 29, 2014

  • linda-ronstadt.jpg Obama had crush on First Lady of Rock

    Linda Ronstadt remained composed as she walked up to claim her National Medal of Arts at a White House ceremony Monday afternoon.

    July 29, 2014 1 Photo

  • Can black women have it all?

    In a powerful new essay for the National Journal, my friend Michel Martin makes a compelling case for why we need to continue the having-it-all conversation.

    July 29, 2014

  • Dangerous Darkies Logo.png Redskins not the only nickname to cause a stir

    Daniel Snyder has come under fire for refusing to change the mascot of his NFL team, the Washington Redskins. The Redskins, however, are far from being the only controversial mascot in sports history.  Here is a sampling of athletic teams from all areas of the sports world that were outside the norm.

    July 28, 2014 3 Photos

  • 'Rebel' mascot rising from the dead

    Students and alumni from a Richmond, Va.-area high school are seeking to revive the school's historic mascot, a Confederate soldier known as the "Rebel Man," spurring debate about the appropriateness of public school connections to the Civil War and its icons.

    July 28, 2014

  • wd saturday tobias .jpg Stranger’s generosity stuns Ohio veteran

    Vietnam War veteran David A. Tobias was overwhelmed recently when a fellow customer at an OfficeMax store near Ashtabula, Ohio paid for a computer he was purchasing.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • 072214 Diamond Llama 1.jpg Llama on the loose corralled in Missouri town

    A llama on the lam cruised Main Street Tuesday before it mistook a resident’s fenced backyard for a place to grab a meal and freshen up.

    July 22, 2014 2 Photos

  • NWS-HB0713-HowardMartin-004.jpg Airman laid to rest back home in Indiana six decades after death

    The mystery of what happened to a military transport plane that disappeared in the fall of 1952 into an Alaskan glacier was solved two years ago when a helicopter crew spotted the wreckage. But it took another two years to retrieve the remains of Airman Howard Miller and 16 other servicemen passengers. Saturday, Miller was laid to rest in his hometown of Elwood, Ind., with full military honors. Hundreds turned out for the funeral and burial services.

    July 13, 2014 2 Photos

  • New York to offer free lunch to all middle-school students

    New York's $75 billion spending plan for the fiscal year that began last week includes the first step toward offering free lunch for all 1.1 million students, expanding a program now reserved only for the city's poorest children.

    July 9, 2014