In the 1986 remake of the classic horror film “The Fly,” Jeff Goldblum plays a scientist who, while testing his molecule-scrambling new invention, “the telepods” (not to be confused with the Teletubbies, which were a different kind of horror), accidentally gets his genes spliced with that of a common housefly.

Although the initial side-effects are surprisingly good — amazing energy, increased strength, and a tendency to walk around the first half of the movie without his shirt on — eventually, science (and the plot) catches up with the Goldblum, and he starts sprouting unsightly hairs in the weirdest of places, spitting weird bodily fluids, and things begin falling off of him.

In my world, this is called middle age.

Although in a previous column I had committed to write one column a day this week dedicated to the annual spookshow that is Halloween (mwah-ha-ha), due to circumstances beyond my control, Tuesday’s column was not run until yesterday, leaving me one column behind in the deal.

So, borrowing a note from “The Fly,” I’ve opted to fuse two separate columns — “Best Horror Films Ever” and “Worst Horror Films Ever” into one genetically spliced column, “Best Worst Horror Films Ever.”

Impossible, you say? Behold, my creation:

There are good horror movies — the kind that raise the hair on the back of your neck and have you peeking under the couch to make sure the boogeyman’s not waiting for you to let your guard down — and then there are bad horror movies, the kind that are neither scary nor particularly engaging.

“Jerry Maguire” comes to mind.

And then there are the kind of horror movies that transcend good or bad — the kind that are so awful, so dreadful, so .... inarticulately odious that they fly off the scales of “bad” and somehow loop back into being “good,” like a roller coaster jumping a missing segment of track and landing — against all odds of physics — safely on another track, without missing a beat.

These are those movies.

The movies that are so bad for one reason or another, they almost ....ALMOST become enjoyable not in spite of, but because of their ineptitude and wretchedness.

While I can’t say I endorse any the following movies personally, I will embarrassingly admit that I have watched many of them, just to see for myself if they were as bad as I’d heard.

They were, and in many cases, they were much-much worse, becoming borderline enjoyable for their sheer mock-worthiness.

Enjoy, at your own risk: